Bridgette
2005-04-04 10:23:46 UTC
I used to go outside every single day, hung out with friends, drove my
care all over hecks half acres, and really really enjoyed my life. I
voulenteered at a teen center, and I had a lot of goals. One day I was
out with my friend Kyle and I started feeling panicy but I didn't
understand why. I didn't see him the same way as I always did. He was
talking but I wasn't listening. It wasn't that I didn't want to, it
wasn't that he was boring... everything just changed. At that point I
looked at him and I said "Kyle, I think something is wrong with me. You
know I love yah but you are talking and it's like I don't even care."
After he replied and said maybe I should see a doctor I started to
panic and it's been basically like that ever since. I've stayed in the
house, I won't leave the house, I don't really like to talk to people
usually, the sun bothers my eyes, it's like "SEEING" in general just
bugs me. I'll have panic attacks but I am very good at stopping them
almost immediatly and sometimes before they start but I still feel that
instant of impending doom everything just feels surreal. None of my
friends understand why I don't want to go see them, my parents are
supportive but don't REALLY understand either, other friends are really
patient but don't understand either. The doctor kept telling me there
must have been something that started it but it just basically came out
of no where. They have tryed three different medicines for me and none
have made any change except when they change my medicines I become
extremely dizzy and at one point have almost completely blacked out
(Scared my parents to death) Anyway I guess I am trying to see if I am
a freak of nature and if NO ONE in this world understands what I'm
feeling or if there are others out there like me. That can relate to me
and understand what I am going through (and have been going through for
6 months now) without seeing me as psychotic!
care all over hecks half acres, and really really enjoyed my life. I
voulenteered at a teen center, and I had a lot of goals. One day I was
out with my friend Kyle and I started feeling panicy but I didn't
understand why. I didn't see him the same way as I always did. He was
talking but I wasn't listening. It wasn't that I didn't want to, it
wasn't that he was boring... everything just changed. At that point I
looked at him and I said "Kyle, I think something is wrong with me. You
know I love yah but you are talking and it's like I don't even care."
After he replied and said maybe I should see a doctor I started to
panic and it's been basically like that ever since. I've stayed in the
house, I won't leave the house, I don't really like to talk to people
usually, the sun bothers my eyes, it's like "SEEING" in general just
bugs me. I'll have panic attacks but I am very good at stopping them
almost immediatly and sometimes before they start but I still feel that
instant of impending doom everything just feels surreal. None of my
friends understand why I don't want to go see them, my parents are
supportive but don't REALLY understand either, other friends are really
patient but don't understand either. The doctor kept telling me there
must have been something that started it but it just basically came out
of no where. They have tryed three different medicines for me and none
have made any change except when they change my medicines I become
extremely dizzy and at one point have almost completely blacked out
(Scared my parents to death) Anyway I guess I am trying to see if I am
a freak of nature and if NO ONE in this world understands what I'm
feeling or if there are others out there like me. That can relate to me
and understand what I am going through (and have been going through for
6 months now) without seeing me as psychotic!