From miserable hell to joyfull life

Discussion:

From miserable hell to joyfull life - My story

(too old to reply)

Ronald Shu

2004-07-17 00:33:50 UTC

I got anxiety disorder (AD) about seven months ago. It was caused by the
sharp pain inside my chest. I thought I have heart problem. Each time
the pain happened, I got anxiety or panic attack. I went to emergency
room for five times during the first three months. Gradually I developed
AD. Since then my life headed to a long journey in dark hell. I was
hocked by all those habit-forming medication: Xanax, Ativan, klonopine,
LexaPro, etc. I could not sleep without Ativan at bedtime. The sever
side-effects of those medicines totally ruined my life - I became a
different person. I felt anxiety/depression alternatively, hopeless and
helpless all the time, lost interests in what I used to have passion to,
became suspicious to everything: people around me, the food I ate, even
my medical doctors.... lost confidence, tired of my life.....In past May
One of my friend told me that his son wanted to kill himself and
hospitalized because of a long time suffering from panic attack (PD).
His son was on the same medication as I had. It was a tremendous shock
to me. I worried about those medicine, but I could not get rid of those
deadly poisons (on my mind they are).
An accident happened to me in the beginning of past May, it almost
killed me. My doctor wanted me to try a new medicine, LexaPro. He
advised me that only medicine can cure your AD, nothing else can help
you. I had PA before. xxxPro (sorry, I forgot the medicine name he told
me) saved my life. I trust in my M.D. So, I took one tablet (10 mg) next
day. It almost killed me. I was under a full scale attack of more than
ten side-effects: anxious every minute all day long, extremely weak,
naysea, afraid of cold, lost balance when walking, difficulty in
speaking and picking right words, deep depression, lost appetite, in
short - I was at the edge of the hell. I thought I would die soon. After
taking one tablet, I dropped it out.
LexaPro is a FDA-approved medicine for depression treatment, but it
has not been approved for AD or PD. So, Forest Pharmaceutical Inc.(FPI),
the manufacturer of LexaPro, want medical professionals to find AD/PD
patients to try it. The results from clinic experiment are not even
close to encouraging. Class lawsuits to against FPI are going on.
Personally, I think it is very dangerous to use medicine to control
chemicals producing in human brain at macro level. Any unforeseeable or
unexpected side-effects can be deadly.
Lexapro did not kill me. I survived, but the recovery from its
harmful side-effects took me about 3-4 weeks. I started practicing
Chinese meditation, Chi Gong, on the same day when I took Lexapro
because Chi Gong gave me a lots of relief on that horrific day. After
one week practice Chi, miracle happened - my chest pain was gone.
However, I was not so sure that was the result of the my Chi Gong
practice. With more confident I kept practicing Chi one to two hours a
day, mostly on the beach. I made a plan to quit my Xanax and Ativan
within a month, but I reduced the dosage very carefully and gradually.
Each week I cut off a half dosage for each medicine. At the end of the
4th week, I stopped all medication as I planned without any risk.
Ativan - my sleeping aid need a special caution. I knew that good sleep
is the key. I would loss the battle to against AD if I could not sleep
well. One month passed by, I successfully got rid of all those
habit-forming drugs, Xanax, Ativan, Klonopine. I could sleep like a baby
without any sleeping aid. I would like to mention that I am 64 years
old, sound sleeping is not easy for my age . To my surprise, more
miracle happened - not only chest pain, but also anxiety attack were
gone. I still had anxious feeling every several days though. So, I knew
that my AD was not completely gone yet, I need to practice Chi Gong
consistently. It has been more than two months now since I started
meditation. I think I am completely recovered. I have got my life back
and started my healthy and joyful life again. BTW, I am a IT
professional working at University of California, have deep passion for
life and nature. I am a world traveler and a good photographer. All
friends on this hews group are cordially invited to visit my on-line
photo galleries at the address below if interested

http://128.111.124.127/ssr/CanadaRockies.htm
http://128.111.124.127/ssr/Alps/Alps.htm
http://128.111.124.127/ssr/Orchid/Orchid-indx.htm

I know how miserable life can be if someone is trapped in the deep cave
named AD or PD. I decided to search for AD/PD related new group to share
my story and I finally found them. I have three simple advices for you:
(1) AD/PD is not a death sentence. If I can win the battle to against
it, you can do it too.
(2) AD/PD is a mental health problem. No medicine can cure it without
risk. The best way to cure it is mother nature's gift medicine - Chi
Gong. It works on not only your body, but also your mind. Healthy mind
is the gateway to healthy body.
(3) More rely on habit-forming medicine, deeper and more miserable your
depression. Depression finally will terminate you life. Earlier you quit
, more hope to survive. Chi practice is the best self-support for AD/PD
patients. Start Practicing it now to feel the power.

Ronald Shu

Major Zoloft

2004-07-17 05:31:22 UTC

Permalink

I'm sorry that you had such a hard time with your medications. However,
ativan and lexapro have worked well for me. Lexapro has been so
effective I no longer take ativan.

Post by Ronald Shu
I got anxiety disorder (AD) about seven months ago. It was caused by the
sharp pain inside my chest. I thought I have heart problem. Each time
the pain happened, I got anxiety or panic attack. I went to emergency
room for five times during the first three months. Gradually I developed
AD. Since then my life headed to a long journey in dark hell. I was
hocked by all those habit-forming medication: Xanax, Ativan, klonopine,
LexaPro, etc. I could not sleep without Ativan at bedtime. The sever
side-effects of those medicines totally ruined my life - I became a
different person. I felt anxiety/depression alternatively, hopeless and
helpless all the time, lost interests in what I used to have passion to,
became suspicious to everything: people around me, the food I ate, even
my medical doctors.... lost confidence, tired of my life.....In past May
One of my friend told me that his son wanted to kill himself and
hospitalized because of a long time suffering from panic attack (PD).
His son was on the same medication as I had. It was a tremendous shock
to me. I worried about those medicine, but I could not get rid of those
deadly poisons (on my mind they are).
An accident happened to me in the beginning of past May, it almost
killed me. My doctor wanted me to try a new medicine, LexaPro. He
advised me that only medicine can cure your AD, nothing else can help
you. I had PA before. xxxPro (sorry, I forgot the medicine name he told
me) saved my life. I trust in my M.D. So, I took one tablet (10 mg) next
day. It almost killed me. I was under a full scale attack of more than
ten side-effects: anxious every minute all day long, extremely weak,
naysea, afraid of cold, lost balance when walking, difficulty in
speaking and picking right words, deep depression, lost appetite, in
short - I was at the edge of the hell. I thought I would die soon. After
taking one tablet, I dropped it out.
LexaPro is a FDA-approved medicine for depression treatment, but it
has not been approved for AD or PD. So, Forest Pharmaceutical Inc.(FPI),
the manufacturer of LexaPro, want medical professionals to find AD/PD
patients to try it. The results from clinic experiment are not even
close to encouraging. Class lawsuits to against FPI are going on.
Personally, I think it is very dangerous to use medicine to control
chemicals producing in human brain at macro level. Any unforeseeable or
unexpected side-effects can be deadly.
Lexapro did not kill me. I survived, but the recovery from its
harmful side-effects took me about 3-4 weeks. I started practicing
Chinese meditation, Chi Gong, on the same day when I took Lexapro
because Chi Gong gave me a lots of relief on that horrific day. After
one week practice Chi, miracle happened - my chest pain was gone.
However, I was not so sure that was the result of the my Chi Gong
practice. With more confident I kept practicing Chi one to two hours a
day, mostly on the beach. I made a plan to quit my Xanax and Ativan
within a month, but I reduced the dosage very carefully and gradually.
Each week I cut off a half dosage for each medicine. At the end of the
4th week, I stopped all medication as I planned without any risk. Ativan
- my sleeping aid need a special caution. I knew that good sleep is the
key. I would loss the battle to against AD if I could not sleep well.
One month passed by, I successfully got rid of all those habit-forming
drugs, Xanax, Ativan, Klonopine. I could sleep like a baby without any
sleeping aid. I would like to mention that I am 64 years old, sound
sleeping is not easy for my age . To my surprise, more miracle happened
- not only chest pain, but also anxiety attack were gone. I still had
anxious feeling every several days though. So, I knew that my AD was not
completely gone yet, I need to practice Chi Gong consistently. It has
been more than two months now since I started meditation. I think I am
completely recovered. I have got my life back and started my healthy and
joyful life again. BTW, I am a IT professional working at University of
California, have deep passion for life and nature. I am a world traveler
and a good photographer. All friends on this hews group are cordially
invited to visit my on-line photo galleries at the address below if
interested
http://128.111.124.127/ssr/CanadaRockies.htm
http://128.111.124.127/ssr/Alps/Alps.htm
http://128.111.124.127/ssr/Orchid/Orchid-indx.htm
I know how miserable life can be if someone is trapped in the deep cave
named AD or PD. I decided to search for AD/PD related new group to share
(1) AD/PD is not a death sentence. If I can win the battle to against
it, you can do it too.
(2) AD/PD is a mental health problem. No medicine can cure it without
risk. The best way to cure it is mother nature's gift medicine - Chi
Gong. It works on not only your body, but also your mind. Healthy mind
is the gateway to healthy body.
(3) More rely on habit-forming medicine, deeper and more miserable your
depression. Depression finally will terminate you life. Earlier you quit
, more hope to survive. Chi practice is the best self-support for AD/PD
patients. Start Practicing it now to feel the power.
Ronald Shu

Meryl

2004-07-17 05:54:04 UTC

Permalink

Similar story here. Lexapro and Xanax work very well for me.
Meryl

Post by Major Zoloft
I'm sorry that you had such a hard time with your medications. However,
ativan and lexapro have worked well for me. Lexapro has been so
effective I no longer take ativan.

Rick

2004-08-16 05:32:59 UTC

Permalink

Post by Meryl
Similar story here. Lexapro and Xanax work very well for me.
Meryl

Post by Major Zoloft
I'm sorry that you had such a hard time with your medications. However,
ativan and lexapro have worked well for me. Lexapro has been so
effective I no longer take ativan.

And I would further have to comment on the OP's journey from "hell
to joyfull life" covering the relatively short time span of "about
seven months ago." That's not quite a "a long journey in dark hell"
compared to what some of us have lived with with these disorders.

There are some people who only have a transient problem with anxiety
and panic where appropriate therapy, especially if applied soon
after the disorder begins, do find a significant relief - cure if
you will - of their symptoms. And that's great.

Then there's the rest of us...

For people like me once onset started it ain't ever going to go
away. I'm in my 20th year of dealing with it. I'm sorry, but I
always cast a skeptical eye on any message promoting a "cure" if you
just do this, just to that, attend this seminar (for $400.00),
"attack" your anxiety (with expensive audio tapes...) while at the
same time declaring some of the only drugs that can provide relief
as "addictive" and "dangerous" and "deadly." Those non professional
supplied descriptions from the OP of medications can make some
peoples lives a real hell, by scaring them away from possible forms
of treatment. Some side effects are bad and can't be tolerated even
after a reasonable trial. Some side effects go away with time. But
taking *one* pill, experiencing side effects, and declaring "I
thought I would die soon" and then dropping the medication is hardly
scientific reasoning for declaring that PA/PD drugs can put someone
"on the edge of hell."

"Win the battle?" Fighting your diagnosis can make things even
worse. I know a lot of people that have "fought" their diagnosis for
years, constantly swinging from the elation of "I'm cured!" if they
have a few good days, weeks or months, to despair, depression and
anger when they have a set back and realize they never were "cured."
And then feeling inferior because they set themselves up to win a
"battle" and found out they couldn't do it. "If I only could find
out what I am doing wrong..." is a recurrent theme. So they "fight"
with the disorder to keep high stress jobs, which may only make
things worse, and then crash into depression & anger when the AD/PD
becomes overwhelming again and keeps them from performing the very
job that is exacerbating their condition.

The point I'm making about any analogies to "fighting with" and
"winning" your battle with AD/PD is that that approach prevents one
from being in touch with what is really going on so you can make
decisions that can make your situation better. "I'm gonna fight my
PD and I found this 'thing' I do that helps. And I'm gonna keep that
high stress job because I'm a fighter and I'm gonna win!" And then
it doesn't work out so well according to plan. The high stress job
gets even more high stress, makes the disorder worse, the 'thing'
you found that was helping isn't helping so good now... And all that
"fighting" is only escalating the entire process. For many people it
comes time to accept the diagnosis and find less stressful avenues
so you won't have to be in a "fight and win" (and possibly lose and
get depressed about it and start the "fight and win" cycle all over
again") mentality all the time. Had a high stress job - loved it! If
I had known there was a 3 generation history in my family of anxiety
disorders I would have probably rethought my career plans before I
eventually crashed with disabling PD/AD, most likely accelerated by
the demands in that job. (Note to self: Having PD/AD and two bosses
who are declared workaholics is not a good thing... A bad role model
for someone with PD/AD is a boss who drops to the office floor
because she is too busy to bother eating. Get the picture?
Workaholic bosses tend to keep environments chaotic, always on the
edge and under pressure all the time.)

I'm just saying you can do things other than "fight" with the
disorder. A good psychiatrist will tell you honestly that you have
to learn how to cope with it as we all have stress that affects us,
and for us the effects are a little more extreme. Coping can mean
medication, less stressful environments, CBT, yoga - a lot of things
that can help. Different things help different folks and to varying
degrees. A bad psychiatrist will always hold out vague, non specific
reassurances of the possibility of being "cured." For some of us - a
lot of us dealing with this - there is no cure. And until one gets
beyond that you can put a lot of road blocks in the way of learning
how to cope, and to stop feeling like a failure when you didn't
"win" your "battle" on this day or that day. Fighting it puts a lot
of pressure on. Accepting it can take a lot of pressure off.

Regarding "addictive" drugs. Studies show that the only people who
really get into trouble with anxiolytics are people who already had
a substance abuse problem to begin with. Overall, people that use
them without any addictive tendencies/problems already in place
actually tend to take far less of the medications than as the
directions prescribe. For those that want to see the studies I'll
have to hit the Boston Public Library as the web site that carries
the studies shut down access to non members.

I'm glad the OP found some relief. But I don't think it's such a
good idea to talk about what works, what doesn't, what's good or
"bad" in absolute terms in context of these disorders. What works
for you - or doesn't - isn't a cure for everyone else or a problem
for everyone else either.

That's my life and I'm stickin' to it!

Rick

Post by Meryl

Post by Major Zoloft