Symptoms & wotnot

[IanW]

I've had panic/anxiety for a few years now, and have so far avoided any form
of drugs (and would rather keep it that way).. most (but not all) of my
anxities centre around physical symptoms - a kind of health paranoia, but
despite often telling myself the various symptoms I get are the result of
panic and stress-induced disruptions to the autonomic nervous system, and
despite having read numerous lists of symptoms and books on how to deal with
them, I still have difficulty dealing with them.

So, just want to air some symptoms and request feedback (that could be
translated to "reassurance", which is something I guess most sufferers go
through on a regular basis!) from other who have experienced these
symptoms..

Do you experience any of the following:

1) you often get "new" physical symptoms that you don't remember having
before, which is one of the biggest problems when trying to convince
yourself that you're not actually dying of some terrible undiagnosed disease

2) you get orthostatic hypotension; this is where your body doesn't control
it's blood pressure properly. For me, it's moderate in the sense it doesn't
cause me to pass out, however it's still VERY uncomfortable and effects me
when/after I lift anything heavy, get into a hot bath, squat down, after
eating large meals, sneezing too hard, or even stretching!

3) you get bad fatigue even with relatively light exercise? maybe even
diagnosed with CFS or adrenal problems?

4) sugary foods, though you've been tested and are not diabetic, brings on
anxiety/panic

5) you get really "emotionally weak" patches, where your own thoughts scare
you and make you want to cry, but you hold back because it also feels like
your nerves are raw and that you might lose control or be on the verge of
having a nervous breakdown, or something.

These are the things that are mostly bothering me at the moment.. anyone
relate to this stuff?

IanW

[Queen B of My Hive]

I can relate to all of it and that is why I do take medication and have
had extensive therapy. I have learned to deal with life and other
things outside of myself and I find that keeps me from overwhelming
myself with problems and stress which can, in my opinion, cause a lot
of the symptoms that you described.

It seems to me like you've done a lot of research and time educating
yourself. What I don't understand is why you prefer not to medicate;
then the question comes to mind if you've talked to a doctor about your
suffering.

I have come to believe that for me to be truly happy and at peace with
myself, I had to find and keep a balance of mental, physical and
spiritual being within myself.

I hope you find the answers that you're looking for. I can only tell
you after all my suffering with being anxious and having chronic panic
attacks for several years what works for me.

Take care.
Bee

[nblomgren]

Hi, Ian!

I had a particularly bad bout of anxiety/panic a couple of decades
ago, and learned to manage it through cognitive behavioral therapy.
About ten years ago I had another, far more minor, stretch which
required relearning a few things.

Much of what you've written here was very familiar. What I found was
that I had to relearn my reactions to various symptoms. There seemed
to be two things going on in my head at the same time: the rational
response, which was that I was actually healthy, but misinterpreting
the normal physical sensations that everyone has; and the
anxiety/panic reaction, that didn't believe a word of it :)

In time I learned to listen to the rational side and ignore the
anxiety/panic side. The a/p still tries to get my attention, but I
just let it ramble on in its own little corner of my brain. One of the
more useful tactics was to write everything down -- what I was feeling
and what I thought might happen: "Feeling lightheaded. I just might
pass out this time." Later I'd add a postscript about what actually
happened, which was always nothing. After a while your brain begins to
accept that you'll be fine, and it gets easier to drown out the "what
if" thoughts.

Post by IanW
I've had panic/anxiety for a few years now, and have so far avoided any form
of drugs (and would rather keep it that way).. most (but not all) of my
anxities centre around physical symptoms - a kind of health paranoia, but
despite often telling myself the various symptoms I get are the result of
panic and stress-induced disruptions to the autonomic nervous system, and
despite having read numerous lists of symptoms and books on how to deal with
them, I still have difficulty dealing with them.
So, just want to air some symptoms and request feedback (that could be
translated to "reassurance", which is something I guess most sufferers go
through on a regular basis!) from other who have experienced these
symptoms..
1) you often get "new" physical symptoms that you don't remember having
before, which is one of the biggest problems when trying to convince
yourself that you're not actually dying of some terrible undiagnosed disease

Yep. For me it really meant I was wishing that someone would come
along and fix my problems. "If only they'd find out what it is and fix
it, all my anxiety would go away and life would be great."

At some point I let that one go and decided I had to start working on
the anxiety _myself,_ rather than waiting for a magical day when
someone else would take care of it. Later, after recovery, I was
diagnosed with mitral valve prolapse, which is correlated with
panic/anxiety disorder. I suspect that if that diagnosis had come
first, I'd not have recovered in the same way. Today, after going
through cbt/biofeedback/systematic desensitization (my panic/anxiety
manifested as agoraphobia and generalized anxiety), I feel empowered
and in control of my own well-being.

Post by IanW
2) you get orthostatic hypotension; this is where your body doesn't control
it's blood pressure properly. For me, it's moderate in the sense it doesn't
cause me to pass out, however it's still VERY uncomfortable and effects me
when/after I lift anything heavy, get into a hot bath, squat down, after
eating large meals, sneezing too hard, or even stretching!

Yep. But it doesn't have to result in an anxiety/panic reaction.

I still have this, but it doesn't interfere with a full life :)

Post by IanW
3) you get bad fatigue even with relatively light exercise? maybe even
diagnosed with CFS or adrenal problems?

Light exercise normally doesn't result in fatigue, but in an increase
in energy.

My experience was that the less I did, the more fatigued I became. The
adrenaline released during exercise seemed at the time to set off an
anxiety reaction. My body had become so sensitized -- to increased
heartbeat, sweating, etc -- that it interpreted these sensations as
the onset of anxiety. The less physical activity I engaged in, the
more sensitized I became.

Post by IanW
4) sugary foods, though you've been tested and are not diabetic, brings on
anxiety/panic

Especially if eaten in the evening. I'd wake up feeling anxiety, when
it was actually a drop in blood sugar following the overnight spike
from sugary foods.

I eliminated sugar, alcohol, and caffeine (and would recommend
eliminating nicotine, as well) from my diet for a couple of weeks to
see if it would make a difference. It did. No more ups and downs,
buzziness and crashes. Much easier to manage.

Post by IanW
5) you get really "emotionally weak" patches, where your own thoughts scare
you and make you want to cry, but you hold back because it also feels like
your nerves are raw and that you might lose control or be on the verge of
having a nervous breakdown, or something.

Yep. But so does much of humanity. Those of us with anxiety/panic,
however, believe that we're different somehow, and that everyone else
has a _much_ easier time in the world. To be human is to struggle. To
live a full life is to go through rough patches. It's the long haul
that matters. Where you are emotionally at any given moment is not
where you'll be the rest of your life. The trick is to figure out what
you need to work on and what you need to just ride through.

I'm not advocating that you just ignore what's going on. Clearly, it's
troubling to you, and I've been there, as well. It's all as real as a
brick wall.

But it's important to start thinking about what you're going to _do_
about it. Some would recommend you find the root causes. For me, that
wasn't terribly useful.

I was referred to a cognitive behavioral program by my family doctor,
and I spent most of the first appointment talking about all the things
that had happened in my life, the losses, the difficulties, and ended
up saying I thought that's what the real problem was. After a few
moments the new doctor said: "That's not your problem. Your problem is
you're not leaving the house."

His view was that looking at causes is fine, _once you're
functioning._ Then there's all the time in the world to figure out why
it happened. For me, however, causes became a non-issue, because my
life was back again.

So we worked on my leaving the house. We focused on behaviors, not
feelings, because behaviors change the way we think about ourselves.

I learned there wouldn't be a glorious day when I'd finally have
thought/understood my way back to health. Instead, we focused on
_doing._ It was scary, and there were days when I thought literally
that I would have a heart attack and die.

But I didn't. And I learned that I wouldn't by _doing_ things. There
was no way I could ever have learned that by just talking about it.

For me, this was the perfect strategy. I tend to spend a lot of time
in my head, thinking things through, creating narratives to help make
sense of the world. _Doing_ was a big change, and jolted me out of the
ruts of my thinking.

And because of that, I don't think of myself as someone who's broken
or needs repair. I had the strength I needed all along, once I learned
to recognize it.

Hope this helps. No one approach is for everyone, but this one worked
(and still works after twenty years) for me.

--Nan

[g]

I am new to this group, but I relate to the anxiety and panic. The
panic and anxiety have cheated me out of parts of my life. With the
support of a therapist and a psychopharmacolgist, I take medication to
deal with the anxiety and panic. I also live with chronic depression
that is being treated with antidepressants, and sleep meds.

In those moments of insanity when my disease tells me that I can make
it without taking my meds, and not taking care of myself, my life
becomes a living hell, to the point where I end up in the hospital or
just if I am not hospitalized have a really difficult time functioning.
Even with treatment, I still struggle, but a day with treatment is 1000
times better than with out treatment.

What I've had to learn is:

depression/anxiety/panic are things that I don't have to be ashamed of
I didn't cause it, and its treatable if I want it to be.